Sleep… a distant memory

Well, a good night of sleep that is. Let’s see, it’s probably been about 12 months since I had a night of unbroken sleep. Ok, so I don’t want to complain too much, as I wouldn’t change having Baby J for the world, and don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I am pretty tired.


Recently my nights have been increasingly disturbed. For ages, Baby J used to wake just a couple of times during the night. All was well. Then she started waking three or four times. Then more. Once we were up seven times in one night. Even then she used to feed then go straight back to sleep and I could cope with that; I knew I could put her down and get back to snoozing myself. Happy days.

Lately though, Baby J has decided that going back to sleep during the night is not cool. She’s been staying up for a couple of hours each night, usually from around 3ish (this is on top of the usual night feeds). I feed her (she’s breastfed), she falls asleep, I very gently place her back into her cot, switch on the monitor, and creep very quietly back to my bed, literally one step as she’s still in our room. She waits until I’ve turned off the lamp and closed my eyes before she decides that sleep is NOT happening. Cue crying. By the time I’ve turned my lamp back on, she’s kneeling up at the side of the cot, waiting for me. Aaaaand repeat. For hours.

I genuinely don’t know what to do. Dan and I have been talking about moving Baby J into her own room. We have mixed emotions about doing this though, and have been putting it off. Friends say their babies slept better once they were in their own room, and I really hope that this is the case… but I have reservations about moving her.

We’ve enjoyed having her in with us and as I’m breastfeeding, it’s been really convenient for me. Now we’re at the 9 month mark Baby J is really aware of us being in the same room as her. I feel so sad thinking of her waking up and looking for us. Ok, so I know we’ll only be in the next room, but she doesn’t know that. She’ll wonder where I am and why I’m not there for her when she needs me. It breaks my heart a little just thinking about it. I know its’s only going to get worse as she gets older. I know that. I know.

And what if it doesn’t help? What if she continues to wake up like she has been? I’ll be stuck sitting on the floor of the nursery trying to feed her to sleep instead of snuggling her in my lovely warm bed. And she’ll be able to see her toys and might get distracted and overstimulated.


I think one of the problems is that I’ve only ever fed her to sleep. She’s not one of those babies who relaxes and drifts off when you place her in her cot. If she’s awake when I put her down, she’ll be screaming before her head has even touched the mattress, as soon as she feels my fingers loosening. She won’t stay lying down either. Now she can crawl, she instantly kneels up at the side of the cot and stays there, crying.

We’re all so tired. What to do? Any advice? Please..?

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